My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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