Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
