it hurts more in the daytime
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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