I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
