How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
