I think my fart just growled at me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
