we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
