You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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