Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize