Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
