Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
