Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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