New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize