Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
