I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
