um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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