Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
