I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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