4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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