at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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