guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
