real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we made out on top of his cat.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
