Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
