You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
