I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize