Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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