I hate all girls vehemently.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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