Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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