We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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