The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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