I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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