Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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