Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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