I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
