mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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