I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
