And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
