i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
