so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
