ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
