I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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