Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize