Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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