yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
COCAINE IS GR8
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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