Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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