so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
well I can't set my house on fire every night
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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