so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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