went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
