So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you had me at cake vodka
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
