he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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