I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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