"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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