i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize