I can't watch pbs sober anymore
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
