Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize