I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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