THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
