just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
