Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
