Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
