You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So squirting runs in the family.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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