Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You were trust falling into bushes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
