I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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